What’s this blog about? A whole lot of this:
Me: Recent college grad. I spend most of my waking hours doing something to advance the likelihood of full-time employment because, as one friend so eloquently put it: ‘Benefits are the tits.’ Since I wear thick-rimmed glasses, the ideal job I see myself in would be starting a career in publishing. But, I’ve made it exceptionally hard on myself by doing college wrong and not working toward this goal at all (that is, I was a Latin major who spent each and every summer browsing reddit rather than, you know… seeking internships and gaining experience and networking and the like). My hindsight is so sharp I feel like I could shoot lasers out of my eyes and cut diamonds.
Underemployment: For sporadic income, I substitute teach, tutor after school, baby- and house-sit (sometimes both at once!), type really fast, and face-paint.
- I have a 3-year-old, sixty pound basset. He’s a terrorist who whines 24/7. His name is Captain Hector Barbasset because I fancy myself a clever person and also because Geoffrey Rush was the only redeeming thing about the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. See: figure 12.b
- I go on lots of awkward okcupid.com dates. Not because I’m looking for love, but because I believe in leaving the house every once in a while. I’m in a constant state of ‘almost forgetting what sunshine looks like.’ Or, as Jim Gaffigan says: “I’m what you would call… indoorsy.”
- I’m having a love affair with words. It’s the Latin. The B.A. was sort of like majoring in words. As such, I do the USA Today crossword puzzle every single day. I will DOMINATE your poor, unfortunate soul at Words with Friends and Letterpress. Nickname: unemployed_joy. Come at me, bro.
- I am a veritable trivia piñata. I watch Jeopardy like my life depends upon it. I go to bar trivia games on a fairly regular basis with my rag-tag team of bandits. I spend more time on Sporcle than anybody ought to, ever (but, I’m a beast at world geography and country flags).
- I’m addicted to reading inasmuch as one can be ‘addicted’ to such a thing. Personally, I think it’s a bit like saying, ‘I’m addicted to breathing and brushing my teeth’.
- I make ridiculously ornate lists about all the aforementioned.
Underenjoyment: They may revoke my license-to-geek for this one, but, very sorry, I’m not a big Harry Potter or Dr. Who or Firefly fan–and, yes. I did give them all a fair shake.
That’s about it.
- Fig 12.b: Captain Smushface